I'm really not sleeping though. After an hour and five minutes (to be exact) of tossing and turning in my bed.. trying to fall asleep with the heater ON, then OFF, blanket ON, then OFF, radio ON, radio OFF, one pillow, two pillows, THREE pillows, none! Lamp on, Lamp off, door open, door closed, socks on, socks off.. Why is it such a mission to get some damn sleep at night? When in doubt BLOG... so here I am at 3:08 in the morning.. useless blogging thinking maybe.. just maybe typing in the darkness of my room will help me sleep? Oh and for those who actually found my previous blog amusing, thanks? I've decided to keep it up, FOR NOW! And I came across something really funny & true the other day:
Rules for women
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us griping about you leaving it down.
2. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
4. Crying is blackmail.
5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
6. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
14. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
15. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
16. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
18. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
19. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
20. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
21. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
22. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
23. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)
25. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
26. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
And to end off a random blog..
Pictures of my random baking urges!
KAE & DANNA'S POST EASTER CAKE!
MY NAVY CUP CAKE!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I'm going to make my own rules. I'm at school and I have the world's biggest headache. I want to take a shotgun and . . . put it away. LOL. Too intense.
Hmm . . . I want someone to take my brain out, give it a little squeeze, and put it back in.
Fuck, my head hurts.
I just blogged as a comment. WTF?
What I meant to really say was that I want to make my own rules like the one you posted. You and me should write em. LOL.
Sorry about the other omment. My stupid headache caused me to side-track.
PS: Please record 90210 tonight. Thanks.
WOW you're so wierd sometimes.. but I still understood so whatevs.
SO let's make that set of rules, we'll talk about it later.. but for now, I think I have my next blog topic.
I've got NG BLUES.. (i hope u understand the NG part, the sweater *ahem*) :( FML!
lol doesn't this kinda make you realize how simple we are? lol
Post a Comment